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    | |             |__| |__   |  |__| | |                             | |
   _| |_            |  \ |___  |  |  | | |___                         _| |_
.-| | | | _               __   ___ ___  __   __   __   __          _ | | | |-.
| | | | |' |             |__| |__   |  |__| |__| |  \ |__         | `| | | | |
\         /              |  \ |___  |  |  | |  \ |__/  __|         \         /
 \     ./'                                                          `\.     /
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  **** a SCUMDOG ENTERTAINMENT production, Vol.1, Issue 2 -- 01/07/2002 ****
                  **** http://scumdog.greeny.org/tardz/ ****

                         "Don't Be a Dumbass, Part I"
                                  by Miggedy

All religions are different, but most follow one standard tradition during the
holiday season.  The tradition followed by many gathers the family together
for a joyous occasion to exchange gifts.  Since many do not have the resources
to give their love through gifts, they resort to immoral acts.

I had been back from lunch not any more than five minutes when a distraught 
woman met me at customer service.  She claimed that she had bought a book and
a $25  giftcard from our store and that it had been stolen.  Over the many
years in retail, you learn never to take anything for granted.  The person who
seems the most honest could be the most dishonest.  So my first intuitions
were that she was lying.  I soon found out that my superior had already talked
to this woman and had already remedied the situation, which the woman failed
to communicate to me, but that is a different story.

The woman, Mary (no, that is not her real name), stated that she did not have
her receipt because whoever took it got the receipt along with many other
valuables from her car.  Who keeps the receipt in their car sitting on top of
product in plain view>?  Well, I guess this woman does.  So the first step I
took was to access our computer system to find the transaction showing the
purchase, so that I could get a makeshift receipt for her insurance company.
Done deal, but since I am a nice guy, I thought I would try to get some
additional information and possibly replace her giftcard.  

I called our customer service line and am told that her giftcard had not been
used yet, so I have it canceled.  I explained to Mary that all is taken care
of, we will handle matters from this point, and if her insurance company
needs any other information, they should drop by the store.

My superior gets back from her lunch and I explain the situation to her at
which point she lectures me that what I did was not good enough.  In the back
of our office was a book and another giftcard.  She apparently told Mary that
she would replace the book and giftcard as a nice holiday gesture.  Mary did
not communicate this to me when she was in the store, so I proceed to call
Mary back so that she can come back to get her replacements.

In the process of calling Mary back, I get another call from our corporate
office  stating that, not even an hour ago, someone else used the stolen
giftcard.  I'm thinking, what are the chances that this could happen, better
yet in such a short time frame.  I then figure out that we used the numbers
from the original giftcard to purchase her replacement.  So, again, I think
problem solved.  You following so far?

Problem is not solved because the two worthless individuals who stole the
product  make a visit to our customer service counter.  Mind you, this is only
after they spend thirty minutes in the parking lot trying to get their car to
STOP.  That's right,  STOP not start.  They think they are being street smart
because they try to refund the giftcard instead of use it on product.  They
have their receipt (receipt from Mary's car), so why not?  Unaware that the
other events have taken place, we refund the giftcard and book for them, only
after making a copy of their drivers' licenses.  Yes, they were actually
stupid enough to give us drivers' licenses.   So they are on their way thirty
minutes later.  This is after we get their license plate number due to the
fact that they had to lift the hood to get the car STARTED this time.

We call the police and they take the information needed for probable cause.
Done  deal?  Nope, not yet.  Police come back the next day and say both are in
jail.  Both are sixteen, but will spend most of their adult life in prison.
Seven counts of burglary to a vehicle (yes, they tried to steal from the whole
neighborhood), two counts of burglary of a habitation, two counts of fraud,
two counts of criminal trespass (they were caught shoplifting in another store
in our shopping center) and they both had warrants out for violation of
probation.  WOW!  Maybe I should send this in to "America's Dumbest
Criminals."

More to come.....
   
****
by Miggedy / migedy@hotmail.com
copyright (c) 2002 SCUMDOG ENTERTAINMENT - http://scumdog.greeny.org/
all inquiries/rants/hate mail should be sent to:  scumdog@greeny.org
distributed by GwD Publications - http://www.greeny.org/pubz/
Made in Texas, USA, word word word