_ _ |_| __ ___ ___ __ |_| | | |__| |__ | |__| | | | | _| |_ | \ |___ | | | | |___ _| |_ .-| | | | _ __ ___ ___ __ __ __ __ _ | | | |-. | | | | |' | |__| |__ | |__| |__| | \ |__ | `| | | | | \ / | \ |___ | | | | \ |__/ __| \ / \ ./' `\. / |____| |____| **** a SCUMDOG ENTERTAINMENT production, Vol.2, Issue 2 -- 08/14/2005 **** **** http://www.scumdogentertainment.com/tardz/ **** "The Next Episode - Volume 777: Rainbow Brite Chunks" by Migedy Ok, so all of us have been to the video store on the weekend with our friends or family and have been able to point out that one kid. You know, the one runt that decides he/she couldn't get enough on the playground throughout their normal week at school, so they have to exert an overabundance of energy in public while mom and dad ignore it. Well, on a busy Friday night, this special little girl decides that before she is going to become Reagan from _The Exorcist_, she will politely approach her mother with a box of Sour Twisty Straws. The blueberry kind. Oh yeah. So she does her routine of enducing a small seizure until mom opens the package for her. Mom, the inbred - doesn't respect anything other than her tatoo of her 56th boyfriend on her back - woman decides she is going to open the package without paying for it. Stop me now if you've heard the rest...the package goes empty before they reach the end of the alphabet on the wall of new releases. Rainbow Brite then decides to start using the fixtures to practice her gymnastics. One cartwheel leads to another, which leads to a mysterious foul odor I am checking out down by the Horror section. Now, off the clock and out of uniform I would have kicked the little girl back into it. But the gentleman that I am, I made her clean it up as I got the third degree from the mother that, mind you, has NOT EVEN PAID FOR THE DAMN CANDY! So, I'm thinking, "Why not?" Let's do some old-fashioned damaged control and make this family's night. After me and Brite finish un-smocking from our hazardous waste attire I decide to check them out and grab the empty package that she nonchalantly left in the Childrens' section of the store. I remember it going something like this: " That'll be $9.65." "$9.65? We only rented 2 movies and I KNOW we don't have late fees!" "You don't, I charged you for the Sour Twisty Straws your daughter decided to make artwork out of her mouth with on my carpet. Have a nice night, trash!" --- No. 778 - COMING SOON --- **** by Migedy / migedy@hotmail.com copyright (c) 2005 migedy/SCUMDOG ENTERTAINMENT - www.scumdogentertainment.com all inquiries/rants/hate mail should be sent to: ass@scumdogentertainment.com distributed by GwD Publications - http://www.GREENY.org/pubz/ Made in Texas, USA, word word word