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    | |             |__| |__   |  |__| | |                             | |
   _| |_            |  \ |___  |  |  | | |___                         _| |_
.-| | | | _               __   ___ ___  __   __   __   __          _ | | | |-.
| | | | |' |             |__| |__   |  |__| |__| |  \ |__         | `| | | | |
\         /              |  \ |___  |  |  | |  \ |__/  __|         \         /
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  **** a SCUMDOG ENTERTAINMENT production, Vol.2, Issue 4 -- 11/25/2005 ****
             **** http://www.scumdogentertainment.com/tardz/ ****

                       "The Pile - Retail Excrement #1"
                                  by Migedy  

Some of you have heard this one before, but reminicising with some old friends
brought this memory back. Some of you worked with Mike G. and he could tell
you the frustrations of East Texas.

The culture alone is enough to floor you, but the average literacy rate in
Greenville is about 42%.  This alone should be proof that the locals are not
among the most prestigious part of society.  So when managing the store, my
favorite thing on Friday nights was to stand in the front of the store and
help customers, just to get a laugh.  On one Friday evening, immediately after
a busy rush I witnessed actions from one of Greenville's finest.

This store had been in operation for several years and when remodeled, it was
refigured around the restrooms, which were located in the back of the store.
Both could only be opened by an employee using a keypad.  These restrooms were
both for private and public use and a doorbell was installed, with a larger\
than normal sign stating, "Please ring bell for use."  It could have said,
"You are a dumbfuck, use the bathroom at your own house," but you forget -
less than half of Greenville can read.

So on this Friday, all of my associates are busy helping the illiterate and I
see a young man hopping around in the back of the store.  This wasn't the
"kangaroo-I'm-happy-it's-Friday-night-hopping."   This guy was jumping around,
about to put a puddle on my carpet.  And yes, when remodeled, the floor in
front of the restrooms was carpeted (not exactly the best plan).  I couldn't
get to the door to open it, and neither could any of my associates, so he
rang the bell again, all the time doing the "bathroom dance."  About that
time, I got tied up with an unhappy customer (who I will discuss in a later
story), so I forget about the kid.  Apparently, my associates did as well
because we got busy again and all was ignored, until...

About an hour later, one of my cashiers asked if I smelled anything funny and
I said yes.  We walked over to one of the far registers and found a nice pile
of human dung waiting for us.  To make matters worse, someone had stepped in
it and actually tracked it to a few feet from the exit door.  A cleanup crew
was started and we got everything sanitized, but this now gave us a great
reason to check the new digital cameras we had installed a couple of months
prior to this.

On the camera, the young man who my crew thought had to drop number one and
couldn't get help with the restroom door, actually shook his leg while exiting
through register four and dropped number two.  Then, three insanely
intoxicated women walked through "the pile," smeared it on their high heels,
and laughed along their merry way without even knowing that their aura that
night would shout excrement...just another night in Greenville.

****
by Migedy / migedy@hotmail.com
copyright (c) 2005 migedy/SCUMDOG ENTERTAINMENT - www.scumdogentertainment.com
all inquiries/rants/hate mail should be sent to:  ass@scumdogentertainment.com
distributed by GwD Publications - http://www.GREENY.org/pubz/
Made in Texas, USA, word word word